Scandalous Lives?

Last Monday night, I was sitting here watching Gossip Girl when this commercial came on telling me to text "IN" to 8905 to get "in" on all the same gossipy texts that my favorite characters receive. I did what the nice commercial told me, and here's what happened next—

MONDAY, 8:36 pm: GG here, sit tight 4 all the gossip on ur fav Upper East Siders! No ones safe in Manhattans elite crowd.

Awesome. I've got my seat belt fastened.

MONDAY, 8:44 pm: From Blair - To Celeste: Be right there. It might b time 4 Little J 2 abdicate the throne.

How does Gossip Girl get her hands on a text that Blair sent to one of the new Constance groupies? No matter. This was the best GG alert of the week since it came in the middle of the episode and sort of made sense with the plot. (Blair had just heard that Chuck was spotted at Hilary Duff's movie premiere with Jenny. But I thought she was with Celeste at the time, so I don't know why she texted her. Huh.)

MONDAY, 9:22 pm: From Gossip Girl: S chooses the real world over Brown? Huh?!

First of all, this isn't news. Second, there would be no show if Serena went to college in Rhode Island. Doesn't anyone remember what happened when Summer went to Brown on The OC?

TUESDAY, 5:54 pm: Gossip Girl Here! Still dying that Olivia Burke goes 2 NYU. I don't get starstruck but hello, it's Olivia Burke!!!

Sounds kinda starstruck to me. Who's Olivia Burke's real-life equivalent? Hayden Panettiere?

WEDNESDAY, 5:52 pm: GG Here! S has a job in publicity? She prob could've used some1 like her in the past 2 clean up her messes.

Yes, she prob could've.

THURSDAY, 5:52 pm: Gossip Girl Here! Who needs Constance? If u put ur mind 2 it, B, u could rule the world.

Perhaps a little foreshadowing of episodes to come? Also, noticing that GG likes to text at 5:52 on weeknights.

FRIDAY, 5:50 pm: Gossip Girl Here! G is still in Boston? What the ...? I'm beginning to get worried.

Don't worry, GG. We all know Georgina will be back in NY by tomorrow, just in time to threaten the lovefest that will be Rufus and Lily's wedding.